This is the final blog on the subject of disobedience and repentance. If you missed the previous blogs, you can click the links below to catch up.

Are you still confused about true repentance?

Just for an example of true repentance, we are going to examine a spouse who cheats on their significant other. In this case, we will make it the wife, Kate, who made the bad choice. These are the aspects we want to look for in true repentance:

• A repentant person is appalled by sin. Kate knows what she did is wrong and is appalled that such a bad choice was made. She knows that adultery is against the laws of God and is ashamed of the choice that was made.
• They make amends. Kate confesses to her husband her sin. She wants him to know that she is truly sorry, and she will do whatever it takes to earn his trust again.
• They accept the consequences. Kate knows that her husband has Biblical grounds for divorce (Matthew 5:32, Matthew 19:9) and she is willing to accept the consequences of her actions. She leaves the choice up to her husband not forcing him to see her side.
• They don’t demand or expect forgiveness. Kate knows that she has gone against her wedding vows. Even though she asks for and wants forgiveness for her actions, she knows she doesn’t deserve it and she doesn’t guilt her husband into forgiving her.
• They feel the depth of the pain they’ve caused. Kate sees the sorrow on her husband’s face, and she feels the pain she has caused deep in her soul. She can feel the rift between her and her husband and feels deep remorse for her actions.
• They change their behavior. Kate immediately ends the affair, and because the affair was with a co-worker, she changes jobs. Because alcohol played a factor in her choice, she quits drinking and vows to not be alone with another man without her husband present.
• They grant space to heal. Kate stays with her mother until her husband asks her to come back home. She lets her husband ask whatever questions he has and answers truthfully. She understands that this is part of his healing process.
• They are awestruck by forgiveness. Kate’s husband decides to forgive her. He wants to attend marriage counseling and to work on their marriage together. Kate knows she does not deserve this forgiveness and is grateful that he chose to forgive her even though she didn’t deserve it.

True repentance causes true change in a person. A truly repentant person does not repeat old patterns. Forgiveness is that much sweeter when we repent and change for the better.

Kate’s situation could have gone the complete opposite way if she was not truly repentant. We must tread lightly or else we can make our repentance into false repentance. False repentance hates the consequences and the fallout that happens with the confession. If Kate had fought with her husband about taking some time apart or even worse made him leave the house for her poor choice, Kate would have been in the wrong. She isn’t facing the consequences for her choice; she is letting her husband face the consequences for her sin.

False repentance regrets parting way with sin. Kate may have hated ended the affair even though she knew it was wrong. Or worse yet, Kate just got caught this time and would do a better job next time of hiding her affair. Kate could apologize to her husband, but is she truly sorry if she’s going to do it again? False repentance avoids accountability. If Kate would have blamed her actions on her husband for neglecting her feelings and telling him that the affair was partly his fault, she would be placing undue blame on her husband. Although we may sometimes think that someone’s else actions cause us to sin, we ultimately are to blame for the choices we make. We can’t place the blame on someone else and be truly repentant of what we have done.

Repentance is the key, true repentance and change in our lives.

In the belly of the fish pt. 1

In the belly of the fish pt. 2

In the belly of the fish pt. 3

In the belly of the fish pt. 4